More awkward sex ed questions.

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As part of the CBC series last week on sex ed in BC, Overexposed and Undereducated, local sex education superstar Saleema Noon shared some of the more awkward questions that she's been asked over the years. Here are the top ten, from the article:

  1. Why do people yell during sex? (Grade 4)
  2. Have you ever sexed before and if so did you enjoy it? (Grade 5)
  3. Do people have to go to the hospital to make a baby or can they just do it at home? (kindergarten).
  4. What if a lady has two penises in her vagina? (Grade 1)
  5. If you don't use it do you lose it? (Grade 7)
  6. [When Noon asked a group of Grade 1s if they have any more questions about condoms] "Yah, can we see you wear one of those? "
  7. What if someone doesn't want a baby? Is there a way to cancel it? (Grade 2)
  8. My dad calls my testicles my "family jewels". Is that a scientific word? (Grade 3)
  9. How do you tell someone you aren't comfortable intercourse-ing with them? Do we ever have to intercourse? (Grade 4) 
  10. Is the ocean salty because of whale sperm? (Grade 6)

Pornography and sex ed article on the CBC.

I meant to post this last week. It's a piece based on a conversation that I had with CBC producer Jessica Linzey about pornography, sex education, and kids.

Porn is now ubiquitous and easily accessible. Kids encounter it, whether by accident or intentionally. With that in mind, the best approach is to make kids porn literate and savvy consumers (when they are of appropriate age, and if they choose to watch porn).

Th CBC article scratches the surface. There is much more to discuss, including the nature of pornography, good versus bad porn, performer rights, and what research tells about its impacts (it's not nearly as bad as many people assume). I'll follow up on the blog over the next few months.

A few snippets from the CBC article:

"Parents think if it doesn't get talked about at school, their kids won't be interested in it, or won't find it," he said.
"Access to porn is easy, it's absolutely everywhere ... All young men watch porn and now many young women do as well."
But as Winters points out, porn distills sex down to the absolute and most intense part of the fantasy — there's rarely even a conversation before sex happens.
So if kids watch porn without context, they have no idea that this isn't a relationship, he says.
[...]

Winters says sex education needs to discuss more than just the anatomy and risks of sex — and put pornography in context, by discussing exactly what it is missing.

"What is intimacy? What is love? What are the emotions that you feel? ... What are the impacts of relationships on you? How can you stand up for what you want and what you don't want?"

"These key components of intimacy are all missing from the sex ed curriculum, much like they're also missing from pornography."

Read the rest here.

Check my media page for other interviews and pieces on this issue.

Why men often assume women are flirting with them when they're not.

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This is a fun, science-based clip from the The New York Magazine addressing the question, why do men often assume women are flirting with them when they are not? The answer appears to be related to evolution, and a specific adaptive function.

I wonder if this would also explain why there a lot of confused (and worse, bitter) guys out there, when it comes to women?

Why do men constantly think women are flirting with them, even when they're just being polite? Turns out it has to do with evolution. Learn more in this week's animation. Read more about this research here: http://www.nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/02/why-men-always-think-women-are-flirting.html Tune in Thursdays to see new Science of Us animations!

Questions kids ask in sex ed.

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More on the theme of sex ed.

Global news recently published a fun piece with an accompanying video revealing some of the questions that students often ask in sex ed. The questions typically fall into four broad categories, as described in the article:

  • The “Am I normal?” questions.
  • The “Test the teacher” questions, which may ask about the teachers’ own sexual experience (and which is always politely dismissed: “We’re not here to talk about anyone’s private life”).
  • The “I’ve heard…” questions, which tend to stem from whatever outlandish-seeming reality TV show the children have seen or heard of.
  • The “This is something that’s worrying me” questions.

Check out the rest of the article and the amazing video of Global staff reading out real questions here.

 

Post-script to interviews on porn and sex ed: More information.

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After today's media interviews and the piece about pornography and sex ed published by the CBC (link), it was apparent that providing some more information about the effects of pornography on consumers would likely be valuable.

There is now a good-sized body of academic research examining the effects of watching pornography. The problem is that findings from those studies have not made it into the mainstream, largely because much of it counters the assumptions people have about the dangers associated with porn use. When those studies do get cited, the findings are often misrepresented or cherry-picked to align with anti-porn advocacy narratives.

It's unlikely that providing a reference list or bibliography would be helpful, as only the most extreme nerds would be willing to wade through it. However, Aeon magazine published a piece earlier this year which is one of the better reviews of the research. Click on the image below to read the article.

Looking for UBC Psychology 350A?

When I started teaching Psychology 350A (The Psychology of Human Sexuality) at the University of British Columbia, I created an unofficial Wordpress blog to accompany the class as an add-on. The blog was hosted on Wordpress servers and was available to the public. It grew over the years and became the online hub for the course. Students posted comments and questions, and many also contributed content. I was stoked. Non-students also began commenting, which was great. As of this summer, there were over 1600 published posts.

The blog has now migrated to this site. I'm still moving over posts and have several hundred more to go. The new blog does not have the functionality that it previously did, although I'm working on it. 

If you're a student from class, the online administration for the class (i.e., course outlines, slides, etc.) will move to UBC Connect. But, this will still remain the very unofficial blog for the class. It's also for anyone else who ends up here. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to comment and participate!

Re-released 1961 documentary on homosexuality: The Rejected.

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It wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was considered a mental disorder. It was officially expunged from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association in 1986.

This documentary from 1961 was considered progressive at the time. It features many of the most forward-thinking researchers and clinicians of the time. Yet, they describe homosexuality  as a disorder that can be treated. This claim was used in attempt to decriminalize homosexual behaviour, which at the time was illegal.

From the description:

Introduced by KQED's General Manager James Day, The Rejected was the first ever U.S. televised documentary about homosexuality, broadcast on September 11th 1961. Originally titled 'The Gay Ones', The Rejected was filmed mostly in the KQED studio. Several sources - including co-producer Irving Saraf - confirm that at least one scene was shot on location at the Black Cat Bar in San Francisco (710 Montgomery Street). However, those scenes and others were cut from the film before it aired. Production correspondence written from March to July 1961 between KQED's Program Manager Jonathan Rice and NET's Director of TV Programming Donley F. Feddersen outline this process whereby The Rejected was edited down from it's original 120 minutes, to 89 minutes, then 74 minutes and finally the 59 minute version which aired. You can now view a draft script for The Rejected in DIVA, scenes from which never aired.
The Rejected is comprised of varied discussions about sexual orientation from: Margaret Mead (anthropologist); Dr. Karl Bowman (former President of the American Psychiatric Association); Harold Call, Donald Lucas and Les Fisher of the Mattachine Society; San Francisco District Attorney Thomas Lynch; Dr. Erwin Braff (Director of San Francisco's Bureau for Disease Control; Al Bendich; Mr J. Albert Hutchinson and Mr. Morris Lowenthal (who engage in debate); Bishop James Pike and Rabbi Alvin Fine. This film was written by John Reavis Jr., produced by Reavis Jr. and Irving Saraf, directed by Dick Christian and features location photography by Philip Greene. Note that Professorial Lecturer of Women's, Gender and Sexuality Studies at American University Bob Connelly wrote an informative article about the making of The Rejected for Advocate.com.

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rejected Introduced by KQED's General Manager James Day, The Rejected was the first ever U.S. televised documentary about homosexuality, broadcast on September 11th 1961. Originally titled 'The Gay Ones', The Rejected was filmed mostly in the KQED studio.

John Oliver's poignant and funny take-down of bad sex ed and the abstinence-only approach.

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Sex education is a highly contentious topic, even though it shouldn't be. Generally speaking, sex education is poor. Even the best comprehensive sex ed programs focus on risk and risk mitigation, with no attention paid to all other aspects of sex or relationships. Most sex ed is non-existent, superficial, or perhaps even worse, is based on the abstinence-only model. But Canada is still better than the US.

In this segment John Oliver provides biting and humorous commentary on the current state of sex ed.

Sex education varies widely between school districts, leaving many teens without comprehensive information. We made a video that covers what some schools are too embarrassed to teach. Connect with Last Week Tonight online..

The reality of marriage and long-term committed relationships.

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Many people enter into marriages and long-term committed relationships not realizing that it takes a lot of work. There will be times when things feel desperate, and when conflict seems to be overwhelming and insurmountable. This doesn't mean that partners love each other any less or that their relationships are doomed.

In this piece published by the New York Times, Ada Calhoun provides a reality check about marriage and long-term committed relationships, but also shares why it's all worth it. Here are some excerpts:

I want to say that one day you and your husband will fight about missed flights, and you’ll find yourself wistful for the days when you had to pay for only your own mistakes. I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage. You will gaze at this man you once adored and think, “It sure would be nice to have this whole place to myself.”
[…]
The longer you are with someone, the more big and little “and yets” rack up. You love this person. Of course you plan to be with him or her forever. And yet forever can begin to seem like a long time. Breaking up and starting fresh, which everyone around you seems to be doing, can begin to look like a wonderful and altogether logical proposition.
But “and yet” works the other way, too. Even during the darkest moments of my own marriage, I have had these nagging exceptions. And yet, we still make each other laugh. And yet, he is still my person. And yet, I still love him.
And so you don’t break up, and you outlast some more of your friends’ marriages.
[…]
At weddings, I do not contradict my beaming newlywed friends when they talk about how they will gracefully succeed where nearly everyone in human history has floundered. I only wish I could tell them they will suffer occasionally in this marriage — and not only sitcom-grade squabbles, but possibly even dark-night-of-the-soul despair.
That doesn’t mean they are doomed to divorce, just that it’s unlikely they will be each other’s best friend every single minute forever. And that while it’s good to aim high, it’s quite probable they will let each other down many times in ways both petty and profound that in this blissful moment they can’t even fathom.
But I would go on to say (had I not by that point been thrown out of the banquet hall): Epic failure is part of being human, and it’s definitely part of being married. It’s part of what being alive means, occasionally screwing up in expensive ways. And that’s part of what marriage means, sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would. And then, days or weeks later, waking up and loving him again, loving him still.

Read the whole piece here.

 

New study: What is a good looking penis?

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This study, recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, has been reported on widely, despite it being small and not originally intended as a examination of penis traits generally considered most attractive. The researchers were interested in the impact of surgery for hypospadias, a congenital condition characterized by a urethral opening in the wrong location (i.e., not at the tip of the glans), on perceived penis attractiveness. Because they had subjects rate control penises (i.e., those unaffected by hypospadias), they also had data demonstrating aspects considered most attractive for penises in general.

From Refinery29:

For a new study published in the The Journal of Sexual Medicine, the researchers asked 105 women in three different age groups — 16 to 20, 25 to 30, and 40 to 45 years old — to rank the importance of "eight penile aspects," including girth and length but also such traits as scrotum appearance. According to the women, the most important aspect was "general cosmetic appearance," followed by pubic hair appearance, penile skin, penile girth, glans shape, penile length, scrotum appearance, and position and shape of the urethra in last place. One takeaway, then, is that penis owners feeling insecure about creatively positioned urethras can relax. 
In addition to ranking penis traits, study participants also compared 10 photos of circumcised penises with 10 photos of penises that had been surgically treated for hypospadias, a condition in which the urethra is located on the underside of the penis; the participants then rated how "normal" they found the treated penises to look (they weren't informed beforehand which penises were which). Apparently, this study was inspired by the shame that some people with hypospadias feel, even after receiving surgery. The women in the study found the majority of the penises with hypospadias to look as "normal" as the circumcised-only penises; the change in their reactions to "different"-looking penises was deemed too small to be relevant.

Read the rest here.

Male strippers strip for boost in self-esteem.

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A new study published in the academic journal Deviant Behavior, and reviewed in PsyPost:

male strippers

“Initially women who dance for men may experience a boost in self-esteem, but after time they suffer from a diminished self-concept,” said Scull. “My research finds that men who dance for women generally experience positive feelings of self-worth. So much so, that men will continue to strip even when it is no longer financially lucrative.”

Scull suggests these gendered differences are due to the fact that men and women ascribe different meanings to the objectification they experience while stripping. Female dancers may be more inclined to define sexual objectification as negative, because as women, they experience it more frequently than men.

Males, on the other hand, enjoy being objectified by audience members, Scull found. They did not define objectification with disempowerment and instead noted that they felt positive about being desirable.

Read the rest here.

Founder of OKCupid explains patterns in dating.

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I've posted previously about the data arm of OKCupid (the online dating site) and the many interesting findings they've published on their blog, OKTrends. In this video, the founder of OKCupid summarizes those findings. He discusses the impact of gender, race, sexual orientation, message length, and message quality on the interactions and success of site members. Additionally, he addresses the effects of physical attributes and personality factors on attraction. Check it out, via Big Think:

OkCupid founder Christian Rudder goes through some statistics he's pulled from the popular dating site. Read more at BigThink.com: http://goo.gl/O8uR Follow Big Think here: YouTube: http://goo.gl/CPTsV5 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BigThinkdotcom Twitter: https://twitter.com/bigthink Transcript: I started this whole project by looking at OkCupid and the data and writing the blog that I did, and hopefully will one day do again very soon.

Girls pushing stuck cars.

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CarStuckGirls.com caters to those who get turned on by women with stuck cars. While I doubt it's a common sexual interest, one can easily imagine why this might be a turn-on. It plays on the damsel in distress theme, only rather than rescuing the princess from her prison in a castle, it's scantily clad women whose cars are stuck in the mud or snow. Here's the description from the photo set and video from which I selected the photo above. From CarStuckGirls.com:

Leanna and Kaitlin go offroading with daddy's Jeep and have lots of fun! They drive over rough and smooth, up and down and finally also through some mud. Suddenly the wheels start spinning and the Jeep stops. Are the girls stuck? Well, until they find how to switch into 4-wheel-drive. They keep going ... but not far, because now all 4 wheels are stuck in mud. And the mud is thick and gluey! The girls try to get out there driving deliberately forward and backward all over again. But the wheels keep digging deeper into the mud ... Finally Leanna takes her turn in driving and Kaitlin steps out and tries to push the Jeep from the front. On the way there she can hardly move to the mud and keeps getting stuck with her boots! And over more she also falls into the mud when trying to push the Jeep out. Tough luck. The girls are really in a mess ...!!!

Many more photo sets here.

Gay marriage legalized in the US

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Today is a historic day for the LGBT community and its allies. The Supreme Court of the US ruled that it is unconstitutional for states to ban same sex marriage. Essentially, this means same sex marriages are now legal across the US. Congratulations USA! And welcome to the club.

In honour of today's decision, here's a gif depicting changes in laws concerning same sex marriage, over time and location.


Married Kama Sutra.

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For those of you unfamiliar with the Kama Sutra, it's an ancient Hindu text, much of which describes human sexuality within the context of spiritual enlightenment. The version that we get in the West mostly features depictions of various sexual positions. Here is an example:

Two very funny dudes, Simon Rich and Farley Katz, created The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual (Amazon link here). Sad and Useless published a bunch of the images:

See the rest here.

Film short: Undress Me

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A short film by Tatia Pilieva, in collaboration with Showtime for Masters of Sex.

“I asked strangers to undress each other and get in bed. Noting else. No rules.”

I asked strangers to undress each other and get in bed. Nothing else. No rules. This film was made in collaboration with Showtime for Masters of Sex. Don't miss the season 2 premiere of Masters of Sex, July 13th at 10PM ET/PT.