Body Image

A lesson in grace and respect.

in , ,

This story has been making the rounds the last few days.

From the CBC:

Bearded Sikh woman teaches Reddit a lesson

A young Sikh woman -- whose photo was taken at an airport, posted online, and then ridiculed by hundreds -- is being hailed across the web today after defending herself so eloquently that her original tormenter felt compelled to apologize to all Sikhs everywhere.

In the widely-shared photo, Balpreet Kaur, an Ohio State University student, is shown waiting in line at an airport. She glances down at her iPhone, unaware that her picture is being taken.

“I’m not sure what to conclude from this,” wrote a person with the handle European_douchebag when he posted the photo to Reddit’s /funny section.

 

It is clear from the thread that user is referring to the hair on Kaur’s face, but commenters also took digs at the young woman’s turban and looks in general.

 

Kaur, a neuroscience major, was unaware that her image was starting to go viral until a classmate mentioned it on Facebook.

Showing a commendable amount of grace and maturity, Kaur signed up for Reddit and visited the thread to defend herself and her religion.

Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn't know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled :) However, I'm not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it's who I am. Yes, I'm a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body - it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying 'mine, mine' and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn't important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. :-) So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I've gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. :) I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

Kaur’s short essay shot up the thread immediately, earning her the “best comment” spot and soliciting a flurry of supportive words.

By Tuesday, the original poster, came forward with an apology:

“I felt the need to apologize to the Sikhs, Balpreet, and anyone else I offended when I posted that picture. Put simply it was stupid. Making fun of people is funny to some but incredibly degrading to the people you're making fun of. It was an incredibly rude, judgmental, and ignorant thing to post.” He wrote.

“I've read more about the Sikh faith and it was actually really interesting. It makes a whole lot of sense to work on having a legacy and not worrying about what you look like. I made that post for stupid internet points and I was ignorant.”

News of Kaur's eloquent retort and its ability to solicit a heartfelt apology from a person who only four days earlier felt it was okay to mock photos of unsuspecting women online, started spreading out from feminist and web culture blogs this morning.

Soon, thousands were praising the young Sikh woman who refused to get rid of her facial hair – and proudly so.

Many were taken by the apology, noting that perhaps the internet's meanest are growing up.

 

See some of the other Reddit comments here (scroll down). They will restore your faith in humanity.

Male body enhancing garments.

in , , ,

No longer just for women. From Buzzfeed:

Have Male Enhancing Body Garments Finally Hit The Mainstream?

Remember a time when mirdles, Manx, and butt pads were simply a lifestyle story that no one actually took seriously? No longer a niche item, they are now sold on major websites and retail stores at reasonable prices. Here are 14 ways to jazz up your junk.

And an example:

6. The "Original" Ball Lifter®

From the description: "A soft cloth elastic band rests under your balls, lifting them up and forward giving you a fuller package. The best part is it's all you!" This is like the male equivalent of a push-up balconette bra.

They cost between $18-20. (Link is NSFW!!)

Go see the other 13 garments here.

Stars in tailored clothes.

in ,

From whatever, etc.:

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

Read the rest here.

The new male ideal?

in ,

From CNN:

Drew Manning thought he had the body of the ideal man: 6 feet 2 inches of tanned musculature, sculpted arms and washboard abs that narrowed to a firm, 34-inch waist.

His perfectly chiseled body was hairless due to regular "manscaping." People assumed he worked out three hours a day, seven days a week, but the 31-year-old personal trainer said nutrition was really the key to his dream body. As for working out, he indulged in his favorite activity for only about 45 minutes a day, four to five days a week.

Then, Manning's once impressive muscles softened to pounds of bloated fat -- on purpose.

Manning, a personal trainer, decided to gain nearly 70 pounds so he could better understand how his clients feel. He then planned to lose the weight to show that no matter the numbers they faced, others could get fit, too. He called it his "Fit 2 Fat 2 Fit" campaign, and documented it on a blog, and a book that debuts in June.

He expected some physical discomfort, but the emotional struggle -- and judgment from others -- surprised him. As he loaded sugary cereals and soft drinks from his cart at the local grocery store one day, he caught three women staring at him, then sliding their eyes to the food he was buying.

"'I'm doing this as an experiment! I used to be a fit guy, not the fat guy,'" Manning wanted to turn around and explain. "I'm a lot more self-conscious now. There was a total lack of confidence in the way I felt in public because I wasn't the fit guy anymore."

[...]

"As women gain more financial power in society, men are expected to bring more to the table," Addis said. "In addition to being financially successful, they need to be well-groomed, in good shape, emotionally skilled in relationships and the emphasis on looking good is just part of the bigger package -- the stakes have been raised."

Some psychologists and trend watchers said the male muscle obsession only grew during the last few years. As the economy struggled, men were sent looking for aspects of their lives they could define and control. Body image is, at times, the only thing.

"Men can't control how much money they make or their employment situation, but they can control how they look. It can create this obsessiveness," said Sarah Toland, senior health editor for Men's Journal.

Read the rest here.

My Body Gallery.

in

I meant to post this way back during the section on physical attributes and body image.

About the site:

In a world full of images of how we "should" look it can get difficult to tell how we DO look. Our hope is to build a site where women can see what real women look like. What we really look like. Most women have spent so many years looking at themselves in mirrors that we can no longer see what's really there. The My Body Gallery project's goal is to help women objectively see what we look like and come to some acceptance that we are all beautiful.

You enter your weight, height, and/or clothing sizes, and it presents you piles of images of women with the same stats. The photos are all submitted by site users.

To try it out, or take a look, click here.

Out of your league.

in ,

From Jezebel (and source of the quote used in class this week):

The Fallacy Of Your Romantic League

The concept of one's "league" — that is, a fixed category of people one is attractive enough to date — is firmly entrenched in pop culture and in many of our psyches. Here's why it's bullshit.

First, some background. Nerve.com illustrates the concept of the league this week with five stories of men and women sexing unprecedentedly hot partners. An instructive example, by Dane Samson:

She was bordering on the edge of short, with long blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, an amazing body, sexy Aussie accent, and an attitude of completely not giving a fuck. In other words, she was the definition of "out of my league."

Samson determined his league based on women he'd been with before: "I usually ended up with average-looking girls, and in relationships that seemed to be sexually average at best." Others use different metrics, such as their own perceived mediocrity — writes Brandon Stevens, "I [...] have a five head, and my abs are hidden behind incurable baby fat." Whatever the case, all five stories go something like this: I fucked someone who totally shouldn't have wanted to fuck me.

Coming at the league issue from a slightly different angle is a recent writer to The Hairpin's Ask A Lady column, who laments,

I'm ugly. That's right, on the classic 1-10 scale, I'm probably a 3. This isn't a self-esteem thing. I'm a fairly confident person. I have an easy time approaching women and striking up a conversation and asking if I can take them out sometime. I don't spend hours crying about my looks, or avoid walking by mirrors or anything like that. I'm fine with who I am. It just so happens that who I am is a balding 30-year-old with a gut that won't go away, and several other features that make me empirically unattractive, many of which I couldn't change without resorting to surgery. But that's not the problem. Despite being aesthetically challenged, I get plenty of dates. The problem is — and this is the part where I hope you don't write me off as a shallow jerk — the dates I get are with women who are also 3's.

Basically, this guy thinks he's dating within his league, and he's not happy about it. A Lady suggests that "maybe — MAYBE — your opinion of your looks has become a 'self-esteem thing,' making you hold back with women you think are out of your league or whatever." Or "maybe you are just a shallow jerk." What she doesn't really address, however, is that this guy is going about assessing hotness — his own and other people's –- in all the wrong ways.

Read the rest here.

Katie West on self-confidence.

in ,

Katie West, blogger, photographer, teacher, model, and all-around renaissance woman, was sent the following question on her blog:

what advice would you give someone who is self concious about their body? how do you overcome insecurites? you just exude confidence & always inspire me :)

She posted a long response, which is worth a read, especially for those feeling a little down on themselves. It's broken down into 6 specific sections:

1. Have a mother who tells you how beautiful you are every single hour of every single day. 2. When someone tells you you’re beautiful say thank you. 3. Stop comparing yourself to other women. 4. Give no fucks. 5. Don’t neglect the other parts of you. 6. Masturbate.

Go read the whole thing here.

Bigger, Faster, Stronger.

in ,

In class, we discussed the profound effect that high concentrations of sex hormones can have on the body. Last week I posted some clips of bodybuilders who have used anabolic steroids (i.e., androgens) to help them put on massive amounts of muscle. Elizabeth sent along links (thanks!) for a documentary about the body building world, supplement and steroid use, and body image. I'm sure many of you have seen it, as it's been around for a while and has been quite successful, but for those of you that haven't:

Bigger Stronger Faster (2008) | Documentary, Sport In America, we define ourselves in the superlative: we are the biggest, strongest, fastest country in the world. Is it any wonder that so many of our heroes are on performance enhancing drugs?

As noted by a student from class in the comments for a previous post about bodybuilding and steroid use, the vast majority of people who lift weights and work out do NOT use steroids. He pointed out that there's a large community of competition bodybuilders who are all-natural, and participate in all-natural competitions.