The fact that the article linked below was published in Cosmopolitan is a bit mind blowing. Have things really changed so much that Cosmopolitan is now publishing articles by sex workers about sex work?
Pieces like this in mainstream publications are helpful for destigmatizing sex work. As part of that process, they challenge the worn-out stereotypes of sex workers as all being naïve, exploited, or otherwise broken.
The following piece lays out some important rules for dating sex workers. It's too bad something similar hasn't been published in a men's magazine like GQ, Details, or Playboy, where it could reach the audience that would most benefit from it most.
Some highlights from Cosmopolitan piece:
What It's Like to Date When You're a Porn Star
There are three cardinal rules for dating a sex worker. Don't break them.
By Andre Shakti
[...]
There are a few rules for dating a sex worker: don't compromise their cash flow by driving away their business, never out them to other people without their consent, and don't expect them to eagerly perform activities they normally get paid to do for free. He'd broken all three, and my work and my personal life were getting a little too close for comfort. I needed to draw a boundary, so I kicked well-intentioned Sam to the curb.
[...]
The hardest boundary I've had to confront in my romantic relationships is the line between authentic desire in my work, and the "it's just work" defense. Sex workers in committed partnerships often spend a great deal of time reassuring their partners that what they do at work is fake. "It's not real intimacy," we insist after coming home from a porn shoot, "I'm on set. I'm cold. People are staring at me. The last thing I'm feeling is aroused." Then we highlight everything that makes our partners special to us to ease their jealousy. I'm not saying that sex workers who reassure their partners like this are being dishonest. Not exactly. But the world isn't black-and-white, and while the vast majority of us are not regularly turned on by our work, real connections can happen with scene partners and genuine fun can be had with clients. So where's the line?
Read the rest here: link.