Project Unbreakable

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL VIOLENCE.

This is one of the most powerful projects I've come across. As described on the project's homepage:

Project Unbreakable was created in October of 2011 by Grace Brown. Grace works with survivors of sexual assault, photographing them holding a poster with a quote from their attacker. Grace has photographed over two hundred people and has received over a thousand submissions.

It's heart wrenching to go through the photos - I can't imagine the amount of courage it must have taken for these people to participate.

Some samples:

Visit the site, and see the rest of the photos, here.

Documentary: Graphic Sexual Horror.

(download link at bottom)

Regarding paraphilias (i.e., kinks), basically, what it boils down to is that as long as sex (or play) is consensual in the true sense (i.e., all people involved are able to freely give consent, absent of any major power imbalance, soft coercion, desperation, etc.), it's really nobody's business what the participants choose to do. Of course, there will always be exceptions, but generally speaking, this rule seems to be well-supported.

The notion of consent and manipulation is one of the main themes explored in the documentary Graphic Sexual Horror, which delves into the world of Insex, a BDSM content website that featured live online shows.

After a few years of great financial success, Insex eventually was forced to shut its doors after being pursued by US federal prosecutors. Rather than fight a lengthy and expensive legal battle, the owner PD (who was coincidentally a former Carnegie Mellon professor) sold the company. You can read more about Insexhere.

Before the company was sold, Synapse Films spent some time at Insex, which culminated in this documentary. The entire documentary is interesting, but what's perhaps most fascinating are the interviews with the women who were featured in the content.

The documentary homepage is here.

The following is from a review of Graphic Sexual Horror posted at Twitch:

The phrase "Graphic Sexual Horror" actually derives from the all-caps warning that would greet visitors at the threshold to the Insex.Com Web site during its heyday roughly a decade ago. But one can't be blamed for thinking that the title pairs well with the somewhat sensationalistic marketing copy from releaser Synapse. No, the fact that this is a documentary is never concealed, but that doesn't really diminish the lurid appeal--in fact, the promise that everything is real only adds to the titillation.

Of course that's the same lure of realism that attracted some 35,000 subscribers to "PD" Brent Scott's unique BDSM online community and interactive gallery. Shooting on stark sets sporting a "rundown, industrial look" and featuring a grim, deadpan aesthetic that gave some the impression that PD "really had captured the girls," the Insex team specialized in creative live feed sessions that allowed customers to provide real-time input and feedback. The young models would frequently plead for mercy from all sorts of gnarly acts of sadism (one that stays with you: red pepper flakes applied to the genitalia), but per S/M protocol there was always a "safe word" in reserve that they could invoke if things became too unbearable.

One might expect a doc covering such subject matter to be fairly predictable in its exploitational leanings. Yet by showing the motivations of each model to test her own psychological/physical limits--and PD's tendency to manipulate such motivating factors--Graphic Sexual Horror begins to address all sorts of intriguing and totally unexpected questions. Is there such a thing as self-exploitation? And what's to distinguish simple exhibitionism, and those who would leverage it for profit, from a legitimate, artistic, and maybe spiritual exploration of the body's limits? (I'm including "spiritual" because ecstatic states similar to those depicted in the horror flick Martyrs are briefly, but convincingly, touched upon.)

You can read the rest of the review here.

Download Graphic Sexual Horrorhere (for academic purposes only!).

WARNING: the documentary features hardcore sex, BDSM, simulated and real sexual violence. There's one scene, in particular, in which PD tries to convince a performer to continue when she clearly does not want to - it's extremely upsetting and difficult to watch. If you choose to watch the documentary, please proceed with great caution. It is a trigger for sexual violence.

Sextortion.

From Ars Technica:

Laptop theft leads to "sextortion"—and arrest of family friendSecret Service says man demanded nude video of his wife's "hot" friend.

Sextortion—it's not just limited to creepy guys you've never met in real life; now even people you know are getting in on the act.

Back on April 7 of this year, a woman in Dover, New Hampshire called the police. Someone had broken into her house and stolen her MacBook Pro—normal enough in the grand scheme of criminal behavior—but also some of her underwear. Disconcerting. Making it even worse was the victim's knowledge that her now-stolen laptop contained not just e-mails and Web browsing history, but several years' worth of private, sexual pictures of her and several partners. But perhaps the underwear-and-laptop thief wouldn't find them.

Months passed. The computer was not recovered, but the situation hadn't gotten any worse—until the e-mails arrived. They began on July 10, coming from a Gmail address. "What if I told you I have 'pics' of you?" one asked. "Like a lot. Would you send me more?" A second e-mail added that the victim was "crazy hot"—unlikely to be much of a compliment coming from a random Internet creepo asking for more nude pictures.

They began corresponding, the woman trying to figure out how the guy had gotten her photos, which were stored only on her computer. (He sent her several of the unpublished photos as proof of his claim.) The guy on the other end of the Gmail account never admitted to burgling her home; he claimed that some random person with a craigslist account had just happened to send him the pictures.

"Send me more," he demanded.

Read the rest of the story, including how they caught the perpetrator, here.

Must read lesson from Stoya: Not-cool things to do, bro… Part 2.

If you haven't already read Part 1, scroll down about 6 posts or click here first.

The fifth paragraph of Part 2, in particular, should be required reading:

It seems like women have been sharing their experiences with sexual harassment all over the place in the past few weeks. That’s what prompted me to share mine. As Jen Bennett said on twitter, there is clearly something in the air. It should be in the air. Speaking up is the only way that we can help people understand that something is an issue. Sharing is how we let each other know that we are not alone. Open discussion raises awareness of things likehttp://www.slutwalktoronto.com/ and http://www.ihollaback.org/.

Street harassment is not a rare or isolated occurrence. It does not only happen in America. It does not only happen to young or traditionally-considered-“beautiful” women. It does not only happen on public transit or in low income areas.

We shouldn’t have to have a big angry dog named Funster to protect us. We shouldn’t have to carry Mace or a knife, hoping that we’ll be able to use it properly if necessary or investing hours of our lives in self defense courses (something a lot of women have neither the time nor disposable income to do). We shouldn’t have to travel in packs to feel safe (again, something that isn’t really feasible).

Men have been responding saying that they want to divorce their gender. That they didn’t realize, until we started sharing our stories en masse, what it is like to be a woman. That they wish there was something they could do. That they’re sorry for the way other men treat people. Men shouldn’t *have* to feel like they need to apologize on behalf of their gender, or feel ashamed of being male. Unless they’re one of the ones doing the harassing, I don’t think they should apologize.

There are things that can be done. When someone you know engages in inappropriate or harassing behavior towards a woman, let them know they did something totally not cool. Like: “Actually, that woman had a right to be upset when you chased her down the street. She was completely accurate when she called it creepy.” or “Hey, this story you’re telling me about putting your dick on a drunk stranger’s face at a party when she clearly didn’t want it there but was too sleepy(2) to fend you off, that was a totally not cool thing to do with your penis, bro.” Teach every moldable male(1) mind (brothers, friends, sons) that treating women (humans) with respect is the right thing to do. Don’t have sex with jerks. Don’t blow them, don’t give them a handjob, don’t give them your phone number. If you hear a woman asking a man to leave her alone or calling attention to the fact that he’s whacking off in the train station, add your voice to hers. Say “This is not ok. This is not cool. We see what you are doing and it is unacceptable.”

(1) I’m focusing on the men here because I’ve never experienced or heard of a case of menacing street harassment by a female. I could be misinformed. Could be. Possibly.

(2) EDIT: By “sleepy” I mean “incapacitated by being potentially drugged or just being a poor judge of her alcohol tolerance.”

Stoya's blog, with other tidbits of wisdom, can be found here.

Photo from G4TV.com.

Must read lesson from Stoya: Not-cool things to do, bro… Part 1.

It'd be nice to think that we're making progress on gender equality and that straight male sexual entitlement is on the decline. But the reality is, we've still got a very, very long way to go.

From Stoya, porn uberstar:

I can actually remember every time a person at a convention or trade show has touched me inappropriately. My first year at the Venus Fair in Berlin there was a man who shoved two of his fingers into my panty-covered vagina. It was really fast, like he was standing there one second and the next I was trying to figure out how the gusset of my underwear had ended up *in* my vulva. There was a man in Texas who rather violently squeezed my ass while we were taking a picture and then laughed at how I’d “squealed like a piglet”. Seriously. I’m kind of disappointed by how much of a stereotype he was. At AVN this year, a guy grabbed my forearm while I was walking from the elevators to Digital Playground’s booth. He let go when I punched him in the testicle area. There’s an average of three people per convention who try the more subtle approach of sliding their hand a *bit* too far down my back when I stand next to them for a photo. Every single one of them apologizes when I gently put their hand back where it belongs and ask them to remember that I am not a blow up doll.

The above paragraph is absolutely nothing, NOTHING, compared to what it’s like to be a girl or woman walking around in public in broad daylight. With dirty hair up in a ponytail or bun, no makeup, and baggy clothing on. With headphones in, sitting in a coffee shop or on the subway with your nose in a book, or talking on the phone.

Men have followed me down the street poking me in what one can only assume is an attempt to get my attention. Men have grabbed the cord to my headphones and ripped them out of my ears. Multiple times. Men have grabbed parts of my body, or my coat or purse strap. Twice, when I was transporting my Lyra (the three foot metal hoop/circus apparatus I do aerial work on) they have grabbed the hoop and refused to let go until I threatened to kick them. They’ve blocked me into corners on mostly empty subway cars, followed me for blocks and then stood outside whatever shop I duck into for absurd amounts of time. They stop their cars in the middle of the crosswalk to stare and yell things out of the window. Years ago, in Philadelphia, one man walked around my neighborhood asking people if they knew where this blue-haired white girl lived because he wanted to return her phone. Fortunately my neighbors were too smart for that trick.

They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I’m their future wife, or I’d look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I’m not smiling, why my boyfriend lets me walk around by myself. Then they ask why I’m such a bitch, if my pussy is made of ice. They say that they never do this, as though I’ve somehow driven them to inappropriate behavior and deserve it. They say they’re just having fun, trying to pay me a compliment. Pretty frequently they get mean, slipping into a loud tourettes-like chant of bitch-whore-cunt-slut.

Before you try to tell me that it’s because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in a can or box, I am treated with far more respect than I am walking down the street.

Stoya's blog, with other tidbits of wisdom, can be found here.

Louis Theroux: A Place for Pedophiles.

Passed long by Katy (thanks!). For those unfamiliar with Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends, it's a British TV documentary show that provides a glimpse into the lives of people that you'd not normally encounter. I previously posted a segment he did on bodybuilding.

In this episode, Louis and his crew spend some time in what's ostensibly a long-term prison for sex offenders. It's pretty candid, and it features several men, some of whom exhibit substantial denial and rationalization (which are extremely common in this population), and some who fully admit to their preferences and behaviours (and their consequences). Keep in mind that the show is intended as entertainment and doesn't portray an entirely accurate picture.

WARNING: this may act as a trigger for those who have been victims of sexual abuse.

British documentary film maker Louis Theroux has a unique style. Like no other he manages to strike the balance between getting involved with and close to his topics and making sure he keeps enough distance to guarantee his neutrality and independence.

So much for progress.

From the CBC:

B.C. Mountie alleges years of sexual harassment

CBC News has learned that one of B.C.'s highest profile Mounties says she's suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder after years of sexual harassment.

Cpl. Catherine Galliford was the face of the B.C. RCMP for years. During her tenure as the RCMP's spokesperson, Galliford announced the arrest of Robert William Pickton and revealed charges had been laid in the Air India bombing.

But in an internal RCMP complaint, Galliford makes serious allegations about misconduct inside the RCMP. She shared the complaint with CBC News and spoke with reporter Natalie Clancy about her claims.

"Everything that came out of his [a supervisor's] mouth was sexual," Galliford said. "If I had a dime for every time one of my bosses asked me to sit on his knee, I'd be on a yacht in the Bahamas right now."

Galliford says she faced constant sexual advances from several senior officers from the moment she graduated from the RCMP Academy in 1991.

Read the rest of the article here.

Fighting biases.

Via Reddit and posted all over the place: