Humour Etc.

Soul mates.

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The idea of a soul mate, or one true love, is one of those deceptively lovely myths that we've all been sold (I'm looking at you Disney princess and prince movies).

A study of Americans found that 73% believed in the idea of a soul mate. The problem with this sort of belief is that it can lead to relationship and partner dissatisfaction. The reality, no matter how good, will never live up to the fantasy (i.e., the ideal) of that one perfect person.

This is not to say they aren't lots of fantastic people out there who would be a great fit, but the idea of a single person who is absolutely 100% perfect is a trap.

Someone in the comments section passed along a clip by Tim Minchin, the comedian, and piece by xkcd, the artist and satirist, on the subject (thanks!). Here's the clip:

At the Secret Policeman's Ball 2008!

And an excerpt from the piece by xkcd:

But what if we did have one randomly-assigned perfect soul mate, and we couldn’t be happy with anyone else? Would we find each other?
We’ll assume your soul mate is set at birth. You know nothing about who or where they are, but—as in the romantic cliché—you’ll recognize each other the moment your eyes meet.
Right away, this raises a few questions. For starters, is your soul mate even still alive? A hundred billion or so humans have ever lived, but only seven billion are alive now (which gives the human condition a 93% mortality rate). If we’re all paired up at random, 90% of our soul mates are long dead.

Read the rest, with lots of fun doodles, here: link

Samantha, expert: Hitachi Magic Wand.

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Repost, as mentioned in class this week.

The Hitachi Magic Wand, which Hitachi rebranded as the Magic Wand Original so as to dissociate the company name from the product, may be the most popular vibrator in history. This, despite it being designed and marketed as a back massager. It was originally popularized as a sex toy by Betty Dodson, the maven of the sex-positive movement, back in the 1960s.

 In this clip, Samantha explains to a massage device store employee the real deal about the Magic Wand. From Sex in the City:

i love samantha jones.

Walmart accidentally stocks sex lubricant in gun section.

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Passed along by Kassandra (thanks!).

From Global News: 

An Alabama Walmart customer, who was apparently shopping for some lubricant for his weapon, made a hilarious find at the gun counter.
While shopping last month, Jamie Lee Bracey came across Gun Oil personal lubricant stocked at the gun counter at the Florence Walmart instead of finding the friction reducer in the pharmacy.
Apparently amused by Walmart’s merchandising error; Bracey recorded a short video of his find and posted it to his Facebook account.
The video has over 3 million views since it was posted on September 18.
“So I’m at Walmart and nobody’s here to help me,” Bracey says in the video. “I’m looking around I see this Gun Oil, and I’m like ‘oh wow, it says its water-based lubricant for your gun.’
“So, how’s that water-based, that could rust right?,” Bracey said while holding up the bottle.
The customer begins to read the description of the product.
“Let’s see here: long-lasting lubrication with easy cleanup. Glycerin and Paraben free. Wetter, lighter feel than silicone, ‘oh that sounds good that sounds really good,’” Bracey quips. “I think my gun would work really good, wetter and lighter.
“Then I see the ‘Ginseng and guarana to promote blood flow,’ and I’m like, ‘What?’ For topical use, apply desired amount to genital areas. Boom!”
A Facebook user commented on Bracey’s video saying that it’s a common mistake for some stores to stock personal lube in the sports section.
“I work in sporting goods at Cloverdale. Other associates leave it at my counter having no idea what it really is,” Johnny Yerbey wrote. “I always have to take it back to pharmacy haha. Its sooo deceiving.”

 

And the infamous video:

Walmart mistakenly stocked sexual lubricant in gun section [video] Walmart mistakenly stocked sexual lubricant in gun section [video] https://youtu.be/Kzt-KrRJ06M Peter Garrett suggests Midnight Oil could reform during interview on radio statio Triple M. source : http://goo.gl/0Z0d5A

Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno.

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I've posted about Isabella Rossellini' Green Porno series previously, but it's worth a repost.

Growing up, I became acquainted with Isabella Rossellini, an actress, through two David Lynch films, Wild at Heart and Blue Velvet (I was a huge David Lynch fan as a kid). She is widely regarded worldwide as an exceptional actress.

Having achieved world domination as an actress, she turned her sights to various philanthropic conservation causes and a related pet project called Green Porno.

The series, which aired on the Sundance Channel, featured Ms. Rossellini and other actors dressed up as creatures and having sex. It was intended to be both educational and fun. You can read more about it here: link.

Here are a sample of the shorts:

Isabella Rossellini's bizarre and hilarious look at sex in the natural world, as she explores the mating habits of snails. Isabella Rossellini's critically acclaimed and provocative online series, GREEN PORNO covers both land and sea! The series features Rossellini as she acts out the reproductive habits of marine animals and insects, both scientifically accurate yet extremely entertaining.

After showing the world the unconventional mating and scandalous sex lives of animals in her Webby-award winning, internationally acclaimed short film series GREEN PORNO and SEDUCE ME, Isabella Rossellini returns to Sundance Channel and sets her provocative lens on creatures' rites of passage into motherhood in her latest series MAMMAS.

In this episode of GREEN PORNO, Isabella Rossellini takes a closer look at the life of an anchovy. Subscribe to SundanceTV: http://goo.gl/GTzxOZ Isabella Rossellini's critically acclaimed and provocative online series, GREEN PORNO (Season 3) covers both land and sea! The series features Rossellini as she acts out the reproductive habits of marine animals and insects, both scientifically accurate yet extremely entertaining.

Pronunciation.

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Some ridiculousness to ease you back into the week.

In case you were wondering...

This video shows you how to pronounce penis.

Get on top of your sex life with Bedsider: http://full.sc/1lkM4J2 This video shows you how to pronounce clitoris. SUBSCRIBE for how to pronounce more http://full.sc/13hW2AR The clitoris is the human female's most sensitive erogenous zone and generally the primary anatomical source of human female sexual pleasure. It's also called the bow-chicka-wow-wow button.

Get on top of your sex life with Bedsider: http://full.sc/1qalYOj This video shows you how to pronounce sex. SUBSCRIBE for how to pronounce more http://full.sc/13hW2AR Sexual reproduction or "sex" involves the combining and mixing of genetic traits: specialized cells known as gametes combine to form offspring that inherit traits from each parent.

Get on top of your sex life with Bedsider: http://full.sc/1m6WRdU This video shows you how to pronounce vagina. SUBSCRIBE for how to pronounce more http://full.sc/13hW2AR The vagina is a fibromuscular elastic tubular tract which is a sex organ and mainly functions for the facilitation of sexual intercourse, childbirth, and pictures of celebrities getting out of limos.

Accidental vulva art.

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Passed along by someone in the comments section (thanks!).

Apparently this was part of a grade school art project called "Candlelight." Via Reddit and The Frisky. A particularly poignant comment from the Reddit thread:

“I think it’s great to let the students know that each individual can have their own unique ‘candlelight’ and that mine doesn’t necessarily look like that other girl’s. Still, it gets everyone hot just the same.”

Jessica Biel and WomanCare Global team up for funny sex ed videos.

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In response to the mostly piss-poor sex education in the states, Jessica Biel, Joy Bryant, and Whitney Cummings teamed up with WomanCare Global (a nonprofit women's sexual health service provider) and Funny or Die to produce a series of educational comedy clips that address some misconceptions related to sex. The clips have received a lot of attention, and for good reason.

From an article in Slate:

Today, Biel and WomanCare Global, an international nonprofit that works to improve access to products such as contraception and menstrual cups, released a series of videos on Funny or Die called “If You Don’t Tell Them, Then Who Will?” Named to encourage parents and other informed adults to speak honestly with the kids in their lives about reproductive health, the three clips feature Biel kibitzing with fellow actresses Joy Bryant and Whitney Cummings about hetero sex, birth control, dudes, and periods in someone’s kitchen.
The three women cite some messed-up ideas of how female bodies work—e.g., if a condom gets stuck in your vagina, it cannot travel up and out your mouth, contrary to the anatomical fantasies of one Idaho lawmaker—which work as straw men for on-screen text to bat down. “We thought the best way to encourage women to get educated and start the conversation around our bodies was to make it comically clear that people like me, and other non-experts, should not be the source for this information,” said Biel in a statement.

Read the rest here.

Check out WomanCare Global here.

And the videos:

No Topic Is Off Limits. Educate Yourself. If You Don't Tell Them, Then Who Will? womancareglobal.org

No Topic Is Off Limits. Educate Yourself. If You Don't Tell Them, Then Who Will? womancareglobal.org

No Topic Is Off Limits. Educate Yourself. If You Don't Tell Them, Then Who Will? womancareglobal.org

Bad sex media bingo.

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Brought to you by Sense About Sex (link), a brilliant and fun way to counter all the misinformation that seems to get repeated over and over again in the media, despite no scientific evidence to support it. Read below the card for information from the Bad Sex Media Bingo site (link).

Notice any claims that you thought were true? For the explanations, click here.

From the site:

Why Bad Sex Media Bingo?

So much coverage of sex in the media is boiled down to the simplest of clichés and the loudest of headlines. People with vested interests – campaigners, people selling toys, remedies and dubious fixes – are uncritically quoted as experts.

There are many ways to spot a bad sex programme or article – one that’s been made to fit an agenda, perhaps, or one that is more about prurience and sensationalism than accuracy or helping people.

So we’re inviting you to play Bad Sex Bingo with us. How many of our bingo numbers can you spot during each new programme or article about sex? Will you be able to call House! first?

Play along with us on Twitter: our hashtag is #badsexbingo.

We also hope you’ll use Bad Sex Media Bingo to inform media production, to teach and train on these issues, to support activist work in this area, and for any other purposes for which it is useful.

Each of the points in Bad Sex Media Bingo is:

  • Commonly repeated in the media (across broadcast and print media),
  • Problematic and potentially harmful,
  • Easily recognisable, and
  • Covers a range of areas.

For each of our bad sex media examples we also have explanations saying:

  • Why they are a problem,
  • What negative impacts they can have, and
  • What would better ways of presenting sex there are.

This weekend: Hump! movie tour hits Vancouver.

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For those of you unfamiliar with the Hump! movie festival, it's the creation of Dan Savage of Savage Love. People are invited to create short porny films and submit them for review. The best ones are chosen and become part of the Hump! tour, which makes it way around the continent.

From the homepage:

Since 2005, the HUMP! Film Festival has challenged ordinary people from all over the Pacific Northwest to become temporary porn-stars by making their very own five-minute dirty movies for a chance to win big cash prizes. And they did not disappoint! The resulting short films run the gamut of sexual styles: straight, gay, lesbian, transgender... every color in the sexual rainbow. Created and performed by sex-positive people just like you, HUMP! films are sexy, funny, thought-provoking, artistic, outrageous, and oh so real. Now, we're bringing the very best of HUMP! to your town! See 18 of the hottest HUMP! films in action. They'll make you laugh, squeal, and marvel at the broad (and creative) range of human sexuality. It's the best of HUMP! You'll be glad you came.

If you're interested in checking it out, it's this weekend. You can find more information and tickets here: link.

More awkward sex ed questions.

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As part of the CBC series last week on sex ed in BC, Overexposed and Undereducated, local sex education superstar Saleema Noon shared some of the more awkward questions that she's been asked over the years. Here are the top ten, from the article:

  1. Why do people yell during sex? (Grade 4)
  2. Have you ever sexed before and if so did you enjoy it? (Grade 5)
  3. Do people have to go to the hospital to make a baby or can they just do it at home? (kindergarten).
  4. What if a lady has two penises in her vagina? (Grade 1)
  5. If you don't use it do you lose it? (Grade 7)
  6. [When Noon asked a group of Grade 1s if they have any more questions about condoms] "Yah, can we see you wear one of those? "
  7. What if someone doesn't want a baby? Is there a way to cancel it? (Grade 2)
  8. My dad calls my testicles my "family jewels". Is that a scientific word? (Grade 3)
  9. How do you tell someone you aren't comfortable intercourse-ing with them? Do we ever have to intercourse? (Grade 4) 
  10. Is the ocean salty because of whale sperm? (Grade 6)

Married Kama Sutra.

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For those of you unfamiliar with the Kama Sutra, it's an ancient Hindu text, much of which describes human sexuality within the context of spiritual enlightenment. The version that we get in the West mostly features depictions of various sexual positions. Here is an example:

Two very funny dudes, Simon Rich and Farley Katz, created The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual (Amazon link here). Sad and Useless published a bunch of the images:

See the rest here.