Gender

The Sexplainer.

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Marnie Goldenberg is a sex educator from Vancouver (check out her Facebook page here and her blog here). Her work is brilliant and ties in nicely with the themes discussed during the section on Sex Ed that we're covering this week.

The Vancouver Sun recently published an in-depth article about here work:

Sexplain that!: Raising sexually intelligent kids is a job for parents By Denise Ryan

When I told my son that I was going to a get-together of parents to talk with an expert about how to talk to our kids about sex, he flashed me the kind of look you would expect from a 12-year-old boy.

A mix of horror, revulsion, and something else I couldn’t quite identify. Curiosity, maybe?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked.

He struggled to find the words, finally settling on these: “It’s just that I think you moms are a little bit naive.”

Armed with that assessment, he was dispatched to spend the evening with a friend and I set off to find out just how naive I was.

Marnie Goldenberg launched her Vancouver “Sexplainer” salons after making a career switch from lawyer to sexual- health educator. Now she’s offering sexual-health education for parents, aimed at helping them raise “sexually intelligent kids.” In the casual atmosphere of private homes, parents get together, split the cost — about $300 for an evening — and have a facilitated discussion focused on how to communicate effectively about sexuality with kids of all ages.

“Educated kids are safer kids,” says Goldenberg. “I want to give people skills, and empower them to be proactive.”

Goldenberg is tapping into a growing need. Parents want, and need help navigating conversations with kids that are growing up in a culture of sexuality that is changing at warp speed.

Read the rest of the article here.

Art: Vaginal Knitting.

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From the Huffington Post:

'Vaginal Knitting' Is The Latest Feminist Performance Art - But Does It Open Discussion Or Close It? By Brogan Driscoll

Meet Casey Jenkins, the feminist performance artist - or 'craftivist' as she prefers to be known - taking the internet by storm with her latest work 'Casting Off My Womb', where she spends 28 days knitting from her vagina.

Yes, you read that correctly. Vaginal knitting.

"I'm spending 28 days knitting from wool that I've inserted in my vagina," Casey explains. "Everyday I take a new skein of wool that's been wound so that it will unravel from the centre and I stick it up inside me... and then I pull out the thread and knit."

The piece, dubbed 'Vaginal Knitting' by Australian TV channel SBS2Australia, hopes to break down boundaries surrounding a taboo subject: the female genitals.

"If you take a good, hard look at a vulva, you realise it's just a bit of a body. There's nothing that is shocking or scary... nothing that is gonna run out and eat you up," she says.

The performance hopes to be an honest exploration of the female body and an unflinching demonstration of its capabilities - Casey admits that the knitting can be arousing at times and vows to not stop knitting, even when her period comes.

"The performance wouldn't be a performance if I were going to cut out my menstrual cycle from it," she reasons.

According to Gawker, Casey and her peers at Craft Cartel work to combat misogyny and closed government through their art.

"I hope that people question the fears and the negative associations they have with the vulva," Jenkins says.

Read the rest here.

And the video (a little bit NSFW):

Art takes many forms, from detailed oil painting to a vagina carved out of soap. But just a warning for the squeamish or the easily offended, this is a period piece and it has some strong themes and ideas that some people may find confronting. Produced by Miles Bence.


Androgynous models and our definitions of beauty.

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Passed along by Lyore (thanks!):

I came across this article and found it really interesting.

It's a year old, but I only discovered it now. It's a short interview with the model Andrej Pejic who was the first transgendered model to be featured on the cover of a major fashion magazine (Elle).

I find it really interesting that Andrej doesn't define himself by the traditional concepts of sexuality and just sees himself as androgynous. In his interview he says that his gender is open to artistic interpretation and that he doesn't see himself as either male or female-gender is irrelevant to him. I also find it really cool that the fashion industry has been so open to transgendered models in the past few years even though it has been a bit controversial. It does make me wonder though if big fashion labels such as Jean Paul Gaultier have taken advantage of models like Andrej Pejic for media coverage and ultimately for their own benefit (other then just showing openness and acceptance in the fashion world to more ambiguous and non-traditional gender roles)

From the New York Daily News:

Androgynous model Andrej Pejic pushes gender boundaries on the cover of Serbian Elle magazine

Inside, the 21-year-old cross-dressing beauty, who defies categorization, wrestles with female and male versions of himself. “I’ve left my gender open to artistic interpretation,” Pejic once said.

By Carol Kuruvilla

The androgynous model French designer Jean Paul Gaultier called his “otherworldly beauty” is now an Elle cover girl.

Twenty-one-year-old Andrej Pejic is featured front and center on Serbian Elle’s January cover, the Telegraph reports. The cross-dressing model is fitted head to toe in Gaultier and trades in his trademark platinum locks for a choppy black wig.

Inside the magazine, he wrestles with male and female versions of himself in a feature named “Victor Victoria.” The female Pejic wears skimpy La Perla lingerie, while a more masculine side of Pejic looks aggressive in suits.

At a twiggy 5 feet, 11 inches tall, the hipless, chestless Pejic is a fashion designer’s dream. The versatile model has hit the runway in both men’s and women’s fashion shows.

Pejic doesn’t plan on having sex reassignment surgery. Whether he identifies as male or female doesn’t seem to be the point: Gender is irrelevant.

“I’ve left my gender open to artistic interpretation,” Pejic told New York Magazine. “It’s not like ‘Okay, today I want to look like a man, or today I want to look like a woman.’ I want to look like me.”

Pejic is the second model to push gender boundaries on Elle, transforming what the fashion world considers feminine. (Brazilian model Lea T wore Givenchy on Brazilian Elle’s cover in 2011.)

In 2011, Barnes and Noble censored an issue of a magazine in which Pejic appeared bare-chested on the cover.

But Pejic is no stranger to controversy. His mother is Serbian, and his father is a Croat, which placed his parents on opposite sides of the Bosnian war in the 1990s. A few months after his birth, fighting caused his family to flee to Melbourne, Australia. He was discovered at 17 while working at McDonald’s, the BBC reports.

See the rest of the photos here.

Lyore also sent along a Buzzfeed link to photos of several androgynous models. Check it out here.

Sexism ads.

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From AdWeek:

Powerful Ads Use Real Google Searches to Show the Scope of Sexism Worldwide Simple visual for inequality By David Griner

Here's a simple and powerful campaign idea from UN Women using real suggested search terms from Google's autocomplete feature. Campaign creator Christopher Hunt, head of art for Ogilvy & Mather Dubai, offers this summary: “This campaign uses the world's most popular search engine (Google) to show how gender inequality is a worldwide problem. The adverts show the results of genuine searches, highlighting popular opinions across the world wide web.” Each ad's fine print says "actual Google search on 09/03/13." While Google users in different countries are likely to get different results, a quick test shows that several of these suggested terms definitely come up in U.S. searches. Since its creation, autocomplete has become a popular device for social debate and even inspired a recent epic visual from xkcd, but these ads do a stellar job driving home the daunting fact that enough people around the world share these vile opinions that Google has come to expect them. Check out all the design versions after the jump. Via Design Taxi.

UPDATE: After the viral success of these ads since this posting, the creators tell AdFreak they plan to expand the campaign. Check out our follow-up Q&A with the team behind the ads.

See the rest of the ads, and check out the discussion, here. And try conducting the same searches yourself; then try with "men", rather than "women."

More on the meaning of slut.

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From the Huffington Post:

The Truth About Being a Slutty Slut

by Stefanie Williams

I am a slut. A slutty slut slut. So say a lot of people. People who read my blog and disagree with its premise. People who don't like me. Women who think sex is gross. Guys who want the girl you bring home to mom and think because I talk openly about sex, I don't like family dinners or moms.

There are loads of reasons they think that. I've slept with a couple guys. More than 10. More than 20. Want to keep guessing? I wrote about a lot of my sex life. Shared personal stories because I did and still do believe not only do I write well, but that it's a good story. One that I still believe has a happy ending somewhere in all the messed up tragedy between all the hate e-mail I can count and having a note left on my mother's car at a train station parking lot that said "I hope you're proud of the slut you raised."

[...]

Because the slutty slut never wins, you see. The girls who have pictures leaked, never win. They lose their jobs, they lose their reputations. They are humiliated, shamed. Of their bodies. Apologizing, for being sexual privately. For the things we do in the privacy of our bedrooms that we all aren't and shouldn't be doing but apparently are because hey, there are nine billion people on this planet and they got here somehow. Sabbith sits in a dark room and says, "I want to die." Because she let her boyfriend take pictures, and he released them. Pictures not of her murdering puppies, or punching toddlers, or raping old people. Pictures of herself. Her body. The stuff that exists under her clothes. The body parts that are somehow more offensive than her toes.

Then came Maggie. Maggie said everything I've been saying for years. "What's wrong with being a slut?"

We all fear this label. And the ironic part is, most of us (and maybe I'm wrong here but I'm pretty sure I'm not) do the slutty slut stuff. We take pics. We sext. We sleep with our boyfriends. Husbands. We give blowjobs. We get naked. We have vaginas. We use them. Some of us, sometimes, even enjoy using them. We have boobs and nipples and butts. Which clearly we should all be ashamed of. Because we're the only ones doing it. You hear me, every woman on the planet? You are the only one doing what you're doing with that guy (or girl, or worse, BOTH). And it is so, so, incredibly hurtful and wrong and shameful. What? You wanna know why? Oh. Because... slutty slut?

Read the rest here.

Slut shaming.

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From Buzzfeed:

Pictures Of Teenage Girl Engaging In Oral Sex At Eminem Concert Spark Intense Online Slut-Shaming Many are furious that the teenage girl involved is being called a slut, but the boy is being celebrated as a hero. WARNING: This post contains graphic content.

A sample of the commentary:

And a sample of people pointing out the double standard:

See the entire article, including all the photos and commentary, here.

Swept off their feet.

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From the CBC:

'Sweeping girls off their feet' video sparks assault concerns

Many women describe falling in love as a feeling of being swept of their feet. A prankster duo, who specialize in invading personal space and awkward stunts, posted a video on YouTube of them literally sweeping girls off their feet.

The video, which takes place on an American college campus, has drawn much criticism in its short life online so far and has critics likening the prank to assault.

The video shows the two choosing their targets, walking up behind them and picking them up off the ground in their arms. The act is met with awkward laughter and looks of bewilderment.

But, some viewers are seeing a much deeper social problem arising.

A few of the girls are charmed by the act, but those who are not comfortable say things like, "What are you doing?" and "I think I'll break your back."

The comment section under the video on YouTube exploded with posts from viewers facing off over the apparent lack of respect or boundaries the two men exhibit.

"I am afraid for this world where men or women think it's ok to just grab people and even picking them up. That is so creepy and weird and no it's not all in good fun. Learn to respect boundaries,"  IIIShmeeIII.

"This is very disturbing to me as a woman and as a human being in general. Men are not just entitled to grab or touch a woman without her consent. This just perpetuates the culture of 'women's bodies exist for men to do what they please with them.' It's not ok and no real man would ever do this to a woman and expect her to feel flattered. Though your intentions may be good, the way you act on these intentions is completely wrong. You took away a woman's most sacred right towards males: CHOICE," said Jennifer Marcombe.

"This is what is known as assault. It is not okay," said Spiniflex88.

"Gave me some really bad vibes," said princessvideoklub.

More Videos ▶ http://bit.ly/1FmhXhC aka literally picking up chicks, this is one of those campus-only ideas that borders along assault, luckily everyone responded positively. Stuart Edge is a machine! He's been coming out with viral video after viral video for the last year and it's about time we finally collaborated.

Read the rest here.

TED talk: Tony Porter on men.

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Another talk from TED.

http://www.ted.com At TEDWomen, Tony Porter makes a call to men everywhere: Don't "act like a man." Telling powerful stories from his own life, he shows how this mentality, drummed into so many men and boys, can lead men to disrespect, mistreat and abuse women and each other.


iO Tillett Wright: Fifty shades of gay.

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A must-watch TEDx by iO Wright:

Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. Which presents a real problem when it comes to discrimination: Where do you draw the line? (Filmed at TEDxWomen.)

As a child actor, iO Tillett Wright turned her shoes around in the bathroom stall so that people would think she was a boy. As a teenager, she fell in love with both women and men. Her life in the grey areas of gender and sexuality deeply inform her work as an artist.

Photographer iO Tillett Wright grew up between genders and sexualities. She's shot 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many: can they assign a percentage to how gay or straight they are? Most people consider themselves to exist in the grey areas of sexuality, which presents a real problem when it comes to discrimination.

On masculine stereotypes.

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Sent along by one of your classmates (thanks!) with this note:

I thought it was an interesting article because the whole time I was reading it I kept thinking that he was going to talk about how he was homosexual or something (because you don't expect heterosexual males to express themselves like that) but then I realized that that's the whole point right, that it doesn't really matter what his orientation is, because there should be nothing defining how he expresses himself as a human, but we have these gender roles so engrained in us that it is difficult not to bring them up.

From Sex, Love, Liberation:

The Lie of Masculinity

(Note: This is a post from my husband, Jonathan Mead, in parallel to a piece I wrote a few months ago.)

Tears were streaming down my face. I was 10 years old, sitting in our antique Oldsmobile, outside the parking lot of an ice cream shop. My dad and I regularly had father and son nights, and on this particular one I gathered the courage to make a confession:

“I don’t know how to not cry. I wish I could stop but sometimes I just feel like crying, and I know boys aren’t supposed to do that.”

My dad consoled me and told me that it was all right. It was perfectly natural for boys to cry. “If you need to cry, just let it out, son. You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he reassured me.

I felt a little better after that, but it still didn’t shake my discomfort. I didn’t realize it then, but somewhere deep within in me I knew what a man was supposed to be, and I felt that I wasn’t it.

It was around that time that I can recall my first encounter with the lie of masculinity.

Over the course of many years, I came across many other lies that one by one began to build a skeleton of falsehoods living within my consciousness.

And being an innocent child, I accepted those lies. I knew intuitively that they were wrong, but I felt like I was being wound up with a key, predestined to follow a path set before me.

My male identity was being created, and I was slowly learning that men are supposed to be strong, not vulnerable & aren’t expected to express their emotions.

I was learning that men are considered queer if they don’t act brash and overbearing; that men are supposed to be dominant, not submissive.

I was learning that men are horny, not sensual.

Read the rest here.

Orientation, identity and sex all explained in less than 4 minutes.

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This has been making the rounds: 

In which Hank takes on a topic he's been afraid to cover for a while now. How should we talk about sexuality, what is the difference between sex and gender...and between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. It's very interesting...and I think understanding it is a key to decreasing the amount of hate and self-hate out there.

Lead singer of Against Me! comes out as transgender.

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Singer reveals plans to begin living as a woman in the new issue of Rolling Stone

Against Me! singer Tom Gabel reveals plans to begin living as a woman in the new issue of Rolling Stone. Gabel, who has dealt privately with gender dysphoria for years, will soon begin the process of transition, by taking hormones and undergoing electrolysis treatments.

Gabel will eventually take the name Laura Jane Grace, and will remain married to her wife Heather. "For me, the most terrifying thing about this was how she would accept the news," says Gabel. "But she's been super-amazing and understanding."

Gabel only told a handful of family and friends about her plan to transition before talking to Rolling Stone. Because this is the first time a major rock star has come out as transgender, the singer made a point of speaking openly about it. "I'm going to have embarrassing moments," says Gabel, "and that won't be fun. But that's part of what talking to you is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they'll be fairly kind."

The full story of Gabel's transformation is in the latest issue, on newsstands this Friday (May 11th). In it, the singer tells Josh Eells about her history of gender dysphoria, the specifics of the transition process and what becoming Laura Jane Grace will mean for the future of Against Me!

Documentary: The Ballad of Genesis and Lady Jaye.

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From the documentary description:

[...]

But that's just the preamble to the story. Defying artistic boundaries, Genesis has re-defined his art as a challenge to the limits of biology. In 2000, Genesis began a series of sex reassignment surgeries in order to more closely resemble his love, Lady Jaye (née Jacqueline Breyer), who remained his wife and artistic partner for nearly 15 years. It was the ultimate act of devotion, and Genesis's most risky, ambitious, and subversive performance to date: he became a she in a triumphant act of artistic self-expression. Genesis called this project "Creating the Pandrogyne", an attempt to deconstruct two individual identities through the creation of an indivisible third.

[...]

Genesis P-Orridge has been one of the most innovative and influential figures in music and fine art for the last 30 years. A link between the pre- and post-punk eras, he is the founder of the legendary groups COUM Transmissions (1969-1976), Throbbing Gristle (1975-1981), and Psychic TV (1981 to present), all of which merged performance art with rock music.

The homepage for the film is here.

Not quite identical twins.

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From the Boston Globe:

Led by the child who simply knew

The twin boys were identical in every way but one. Wyatt was a girl to the core, and now lives as one, with the help of a brave, loving family and a path-breaking doctor’s care.

Jonas and Wyatt Maines were born identical twins, but from the start each had a distinct personality.

Jonas was all boy. He loved Spiderman, action figures, pirates, and swords.

Wyatt favored pink tutus and beads. At 4, he insisted on a Barbie birthday cake and had a thing for mermaids. On Halloween, Jonas was Buzz Lightyear. Wyatt wanted to be a princess; his mother compromised on a prince costume.

Once, when Wyatt appeared in a sequin shirt and his mother’s heels, his father said: “You don’t want to wear that.’’

“Yes, I do,’’ Wyatt replied.

“Dad, you might as well face it,’’ Wayne recalls Jonas saying. “You have a son and a daughter.’’

That early declaration marked, as much as any one moment could, the beginning of a journey that few have taken, one the Maineses themselves couldn’t have imagined until it was theirs. The process of remaking a family of identical twin boys into a family with one boy and one girl has been heartbreaking and harrowing and, in the end, inspiring - a lesson in the courage of a child, a child who led them, and in the transformational power of love.

Read the rest of their fascinating story here.

Now playing: Tomboy.

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Passed along by Setareh (thanks!):

A beautiful movie, and a beautiful actress... Laure is moving into a new neighborhood with her little sister Jeanne. Because she is in need of new friends and does not know anybody, Laure decides to dress and act as a boy. She becomes close to Lisa, who does not know her new best friend is not a boy.

It's been getting excellent reviews!