While this isn't related to human sexuality, it is related to class (and is funny). Some of these emails are very similar to some that I've received over the years. I've included below the ones that are.
From The Toast:
Every Type Of Email College Students Send Their Professors by Mallory Ortberg
“hey professor i dont think ill be able to make it to class tomorrow, do u think u could email me the reading and whatever notes u go over, also i will not be able to make it to the final for personal reasons, when do u think i could come into your office and make it up, would summer vacation work for you”
“Hi professor X! Before the exam tomorrow, do you mind answering these 47 very specific questions I have about the material that I’ve been meaning to ask you all semester? If you do not help me I will fail and lose my scholarship and probably die, thank you in advance.”
“hey I just realized that since I didnt show up for the midterm or do any of the homework im probably failing the class, is there any extra credit i can do between now and tomorrow to make sure I get at least an A?”
“hey professor!!! noticed that im getting a D- in the class, any chance you could make that a B+, otherwise i wont be able to graduate this spring and my entire life will be literally ruined forever. ps i probably won’t be in class tomorrow my hands are kind of cramping up”